Saturday, April 28, 2012

Hats and Head Scarves


Obviously I’ve been MIA from the blogosphere.  This last round of chemo really knocked me down after they upped my dosage, so I’ve been a mental zombie.  However, I’m finally coming out of the fog just in time for my next round of chemo beginning May 2.  Awesome timing. 

Being laid up gives me lots of time to think and my new favorite topic of thought is getting my PhD.  However, the topic of my doctoral thesis is stumping me.  I know I’d like to combine pop culture and education with a twist of women’s studies, but that’s not quite specific enough to make a many-page thesis. 

Mainly I get a big kick out of the idea of handing out business cards that say “Dr. Boyd.”  I feel like the family slacker with only my master’s when I look at people like my dad or cousin Jake with their J.D.s.  It’d be nice to be the first doctor in the family, even if I wouldn’t be the fun kind with the prescription pad.

I also had an adventure at the grocery store the other day.  By “adventure,” I mean “mildly funny story.”  We needed milk and my chemo sweet tooth was demanding some sort of gummy fruit snack, so off to the Whole Foods I go. 

Being in the depths of chemo side effects and feeling just miserable, I gave little thought to my appearance.  (Besides, the hipsters who shop at my particular Whole Foods aren’t really my type.)  So I’m in the candy when a long-haired stranger comes up to me and begins a conversation.

Stranger: Pardon me, and forgive me if I’m completely off base, but are you a member of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community?
Me: (long pause) No… I just have cancer.
Stranger: (awkward silence) Oh.  What stage are you in?
Me: Stage 2 Lymphoma.
Stranger: Well, I hope your treatment goes well.  (World’s most awkward hug.) Good luck to you.  (Runs off to frozen foods.

I suppose my outfit of straw hat, gray t-shirt, jeans, and a pedicure did suggest a certain amount of sexual ambiguity.

On the upside, I have a title for my memoirs: Fedora Says “Lesbian,” Head Scarf Says “Cancer.”