Healthy Competition May Kill Me

 Anyone who’s ever met me knows I’m not a type-A personality.  I think people who know my father and me wonder how we can be related.  The last time I got up before 5 a.m. to do something fitness-related was to cheer my best friend on at the Marine Corps Marathon.  The last time my father got up at 5 a.m. to do something fitness-related was this morning.  (It doesn’t matter what the time differential is between when I wrote this and when I published this—believe me, he was awake.)

I’m a high-functioning type-B and that’s always been fine with me.  I don’t need to be in charge of every group; I just need someone to make a decision.  People who can’t make decisions drive me crazy.  This is possibly a side effect of living in the South where people tend to polite each other to death: “Where do you want to eat?” “I don’t care.” “Well, I’m not picky; what do you like?” “Anywhere you like is good with me.”  Holy crap—someone pick somewhere or it’ll be dinnertime soon.  I have literally flipped a coin on multiple occasions to expedite this process.

To reiterate, I’m not type-A and I’m not competitive (unless it comes to trash-talking other SEC schools during football season).  And then two deadly things happened.  I started working at a law firm and then got a Fitbit.  These aren’t new occurrences, nor are they bad things on their own.  I’ve just realized that the Universe has been using these two things to conspire against me and I am helpless to stop it.

The lawyers I work with are relentlessly type-A and competitive.  It’s not a bad thing.  At this type of law firm, you have to have some serious drive and internal motivation to make a success of yourself.   I didn’t realize how much this had rubbed off on me until one of the partners and a senior associate (who are working on their own personal fitness goals) decided to create a firm-wide stair-climbing challenge. 

The rules are simple: Nine floors, 248 steps, two points for going from the lobby to the ninth floor, one point for going down the same distance.  Winners announced every two weeks. Prize: bragging rights and the picker of food and drink for an office happy hour. 

As some of you remember, the fires of competition have been smoldering since I got my Fitbit at the end of January.  Each milestone and badge thrills me more than I thought possible.   I achieved my personal best of over 15,000 steps in a single day on Valentine’s Day, as I wandered through the moors, bemoaning my imminent spinster-hood.  (Or catered a 90-person cocktail party, same difference.)  And it’s just gotten worse ever since.

I reached an all-time high/low on Monday aka Day 1 of the BCNT Stair Challenge.  At least for the day, I blew my competition out of the water with nine points.  And then, at 34 total flights of stairs, I just had to try for my 50-flight Fitbit badge.  So after 34 flights, after boot camp, I come home to my apartment and run another 15 flights of stairs.  I’d met my 10,000 step minimum for the day but I realized how close I was to my five-mile goal, and that led to running across my apartment for about seven-tenths of a mile while on the phone.

I thought I was done.  I’d showered, I was watching Dancing with the Stars, having phone time with the bestie, and managed to get to 10:30 which seemed like a good bed time for the day.  Then I made the mistake of checking the Fitbit one last time.  11,518.  Well, that’s not a round number of any kind.  Sooooo close to 12,000.  I could get there… 

I’m almost embarrassed (can you embarrass the shameless?) to admit I delayed bedtime for another 15 minutes just so I could get to 12,000 and attempt to beat anybody in my Fitbit circle.

As of press time, I’m in the lead for the stair challenge.  I’m also afraid to sit for any extended period of time as I’m just waiting for delayed onset muscle soreness to set in and lock me in place like the Tinman.  And it’s only going to get worse.  I fear for my sanity.  But I’ll have the best lower half of any resident at the asylum.

In other healthy challenges that may kill me, I am officially entered in the 2014 Peachtree Road Race.  I’ve run it in high school, but I think this is the first time I’ve actually cared about finishing it.  I entered the lottery on whim the Sunday it opened.  I was under-caffeinated and didn’t think I had any actually shot of getting a number.  Cut to this morning: “Dear Rachel Boyd, Congratulations! Your entry was selected for the 2014 AJC Peachtree Road Race on July 4, 2014.” Training hilarity will ensue.

I’m having a moment.  I know I’m covered in sarcasm and self-deprecating humor, but I’m borderline giddy.  I’m nervous, but more excited than I’ve been in a while.  I think I’m just fully recognizing the amount of potential my life holds in the few months.  I don’t mind the uncertainty and I feel like a kid on a high dive, working up the nerve to take the leap, getting ready to enjoy the feeling of flying, huge splash as I land, huge grin. 

Rachel 2.0

Finally!  After last week’s "not much happening scale-wise", I officially hit the 10-pounds-lost mark on the scale.  I’d been close right before the Catholic job fair, but today makes it real.  The actual number I’m at isn’t important b/c at this point in my life, it’s higher than I’d like to toss out into Internet-land, but hey, I lost 10 pounds, so happy dances all around (2 Weight Watchers Activity Points).

I’m think I may have to hit up South Beach Phase 1 again before spring really gets here.   The thought doesn’t thrill me, but I could use the kickstart to make my 10 percent goal that Weight Watchers has set for me.  I have a lot of upcoming events I want to look svelte for including a wedding this spring and swimsuit season.  Not that I should want to lounge in the sun, having had The Cancer once, but I’d like to know I’d look damn good if I did…

Speaking of The Cancer, I went back to Athens last week for a day visit.  (I’ll make a much less insulting connection in a minute.)  There was an education-focused job fair for current UGA students and alumni, so it made sense for me to venture on over.  Plus I could squeeze in a visit with one of my favorite people, so the trip seemed like an excellent idea on all fronts.

All in all, the day was a strange success.  For those who’ve never lived in the Classic City, Athens can be like Neverland for some people, and it’s easy to stay 22 if you live there long enough.  However, being 22 is not every person’s best self.  It certainly wasn’t mine.  Don’t get me wrong—I was fun and nice (I hope) and I was actually pretty responsible, going to school full time and working two jobs when I was that age.  Athens just makes it really easy to live wildly and cheaply.

But back to my awkward cancer story (as if I have other kinds): While waiting to meet my friend at Allgood, I ran into some former drinking buddies, including one guy I always found super-cute.  As they hadn’t seen me since 2010 when I moved away, the question came up of what I’d been doing the last 3.5 years.  I honestly don’t like making people feel uncomfortable or being a downer in conversation, so I hesitated.  The bartender jokingly covered the moment telling me if I’d been in prison, I didn’t have to confirm anything.  I laughed, and said it wasn’t that bad, but I had had cancer.  Un! Comfortable!

The mood recovered and the rest of the day went well.  I even surprised myself by being able to flirt.  It’s not like I had a lobotomy/loss-of-flirtation amnesia or anything.  I just haven’t had much of a reason to flirt since ending cancer treatment, through my self-imposed hermit lifestyle and lack of confidence.  But it was a little fun to realize I still had (minor) game.  In fact, said Cute Guy told me I looked like hadn’t changed since the last time he saw me.  Since I feel I looked way better four years ago, I’m chalking that one up in the “win” column.

Maybe it all boils down to what my shrink said to me earlier this week: It could just be that I’m more confident.  Four years ago, I’d gotten into grad school but I’d really only applied b/c I didn’t know what else to do in Athens.  I wasn’t happy there anymore and I wasn’t happy with who I was.  Being more active in my life through my job search and weight loss has given me more confidence that’s spilling over to other areas of my life. 

Was I thinner when I was 26?  Absolutely.  Was I more of a party girl?  Sure.  But a life-changing disease and a subsequent 14 months of therapy have taught me my time and feelings are valuable, so I don’t waste them on situations I’m not interested in.  I used to have situational confidence when my hair and make-up looked a certain way or I wore a certain outfit, but these days, I don’t feel like I need those crutches to find my value.