Wedding Crash

As dark as the majority of my posts have been lately, this won’t be one of them.  I think we only have a handful of truly perfect days allotted to us in our lifetime and I got to have three of them this past weekend.  I spent the weekend living.  Even the parts of my weekend that didn’t go as planned were important to me because I spent them with the people I care about, doing things I love.

As a bit of backstory, I finally reclaimed my dog from Jac and Richard because (believe it or not) they didn’t want to take a dog that wasn’t theirs to the beach.  Shocking, I know.  So Buca came home and he likes our apartment and my roommate, but he was only there for one night before I had to take him to the doggie hotel for the weekend, as Noelle was working two 12-hour nursing shifts.  I was having total Mom-guilt when I dropped him off and he looked so betrayed with those eyes and his tail tucked under.   He’d been abandoned by Jaclyn and his favorite person Richard, and now I was leaving him with strangers. 

Friday’s road trip was fairly uneventful until Mom needed me to look up directions to our hotel.  We were about 15 minutes away from Raleigh, where Mom assured me everything was, so imagine my surprise when I found out our hotel and the wedding was in Chapel Hill, which we’d passed about 20 minutes ago.  Le sigh.  We finally get to where we need to be, and I had time to get my first post-cancer haircut!!!!!!  It was such a little thing, but it made me feel so feminine.  The chemo and radiation have caused a bad superhero reaction in my body and now I’m growing sideburns and neck hair like I’m Teen Wolf or something. 

Well-groomed, I went to the post-rehearsal dinner where I got to be surrounded by family.  I adore all of my family but the immediate highlight was getting to meet Kaylie and Mike’s new baby, Carolina.  Babies are precious.  Especially when they’re sleeping…  The party was fantastic and the after-party was even better.  I met some of the Polonsky cousins, including Courtney and we bonded over being cancer survivors and generally awesome people.  There were also a disproportionate amount of attractive fellows there, so that didn’t suck.

Kim and Joey’s wedding was incredible.  All of the superficial details like the weather and the decorations were awesome, but to see two people who have been together for so long and who are just so obviously right for each other commit their lives and love to each other… To be a part of that was an honor.  Working in family law (and not even as someone who directly deals with clients) can be so draining and disheartening.  Watching two people who you know are supposed to be together just reaffirms that some things in the world turn out right. 

And not to make the day about me, but watching them reminded me of one of the many things I have to live for.  There have been so many times this year where I feel like I’m just coping and existing, trying to work up the courage to take my life back.   Seeing Kim and Joey and being at event where people were celebrating life, not just living it, made realize how important it is that I continue to find my direction and be a part of life rather than live on the fringes of it.

The reception was amazing and crazy.  Most people who know me and know my aversion to dancing (except for show tunes in the privacy of my own home) would not have recognized me on Saturday.  The party was one of those kick-off-your-shoes kind of things and I did.  After about an hour, I realized my whole dancing philosophy was simply doing The Twist at different tempos, while occasionally throwing in a Jersey Shore fist pump for variety.  CuteBoy, who’d I’d been making eyes at all weekend, did dance with me at one point, which was more than nice, but I was so flustered, it was like the first time Patrick Swayze danced with Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing.  I just looked awkward.  I don’t remember being this bad at flirting, so I’m going to blame it on the chemo.

And to bring the weekend full circle, my roommate picked up my dog for me on Sunday, so I got to come home to 100 pounds of wiggly, tail-wagging and sloppy kisses.  Best greeting ever.

I couldn’t live at that level of frenzy and excitement every day, but remembering what it’s like to feel truly well is something I can do.  Laughing, staying up too late, dancing, talking too much, eating too much, being silly with little kids (and catching their colds), road-tripping…  I didn’t know how much I needed all this.