Monday, March 26, 2012

(Profound and Catchy Thought)

So, in the latest development of cancer-related body trauma, I've started to lose my eyelashes. It's not the end of the world and I know (all right, at least I hope) that they'll grow back, but... While I don't have to deal with the horror of a mastectomy or anything like that, I do have a slight idea at what breast cancer patients go through when their femininity is damaged by their disease. I've never thought of myself as being excessively vain, but I definitely took pride in my looks and knew people could look at me without turning to stone. Now I'm top-of-the-head-hairless, (almost) eyelashless, and most days I wake up and feel like my body is betraying me simply b/c it won't do what I want it to or it won't perform at the level of energy I want to ask of it. I apologize for the length of that sentence, but I wasn't sure I wanted to end on a preposition. I'm a nerd.

In the end though, it's all relative. Right now, my struggles are matters of physical discomfort. I'm not minimizing my problems at the moment, but my problems aren't (currently) matters of survival. In the past couple of months, three girls I know and was on good terms with through school and former jobs have lost their mothers. My heart breaks for them b/c I'm having a hard enough time dealing with cancer and I have both my parents supporting me beyond anything I could have hoped for (major examples of unconditional love). I couldn't imagine doing this without one of my parents though. And especially at this time in your life in your 20s when you're really on this strange cusp of adulthood... A girl needs her mother.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no martyr and I cried last week in the hospital b/c I was so frustrated at being so sick. I'm not perfect and I get uber-grumbly sometimes, but at least I have my support network who puts up with me...

1 comment:

  1. Way to look at the glass half a fellow pessimist I'm so proud. I'm taking notes from you today my dear. Perspective is a beautiful thing. I don't know how you're doing it with such a graceful smile and an intact sense of humor. Lurv